It's got me thinking a lot about the person he/she is going to be. It has nearly limitless potential to be anyone, do anything. And I don't think there's any way around the fact that at least part of the outcome is going to be baed on the decisions we make as parents, ie how badly we screw them up. Allison was given a book as a gift called How To Traumatize Your Child. It's a whimsical book but it makes a compelling point. Children end up being a product of their parenting (to whatever degree you are comfortable admitting). A strict parent who demands obedience may have no better luck than the overly lax parent who, hoping to avoid their own rigid upbringing, ends up being inconsistent and maybe even negligent. The best you can really do is try to "traumatize" your kid in a way that will benefit them in the long run. But it's a gray area, isn't it? And you won't really know how well your parenting style works in theory until they're all grown up anyway, so it's a bit of a gamble.
Parenting aside, your kid is going to have their own personality, tendencies, and characteristics which will play into it. I asked Allison this hypothetical the other day.
"If you could hand-pick a single quality that you could guarantee that your child will be inherently born with, what would it be?"
I clarified it could be physical, emotional, philosophical, whatever. Skipping past the obvious ones like healthy and "nice", we both thought about our answers.
My answer was that above all else, I want my child to be open-minded. A person who grows up with an open mind will be tolerant, respectful, patient, non-judgmental, and one would hope, loving. They would be willing to try new foods, brave enough to seek out new experiences, and welcoming to new friends and different kinds of people. This quality, I believe, will produce a well rounded person. That's what I want for my kid.
Allison's answer was that she wants them to be outgoing. Being a first grade teacher, she spends all day interacting. I think she sees the ultimate benefit of a child who can overcome shyness and social pressure and make friends with anyone and anybody. She also teaches special ed, and works with many children who have underdeveloped social skills, and I agree with her that the true tragedy of some of these cases is their inability to connect with other kids and even their own parents. An outgoing person is someone who, despite the ups and downs of life, will never feel alone. Isn't that what we all want for our kids?
You never really know who your baby will bcome, as a person. I suppose the real challenge of parenting is being mature and wise enough to accept your kids, no matter who they turn out be be.
Parenting aside, your kid is going to have their own personality, tendencies, and characteristics which will play into it. I asked Allison this hypothetical the other day.
"If you could hand-pick a single quality that you could guarantee that your child will be inherently born with, what would it be?"
I clarified it could be physical, emotional, philosophical, whatever. Skipping past the obvious ones like healthy and "nice", we both thought about our answers.
My answer was that above all else, I want my child to be open-minded. A person who grows up with an open mind will be tolerant, respectful, patient, non-judgmental, and one would hope, loving. They would be willing to try new foods, brave enough to seek out new experiences, and welcoming to new friends and different kinds of people. This quality, I believe, will produce a well rounded person. That's what I want for my kid.
Allison's answer was that she wants them to be outgoing. Being a first grade teacher, she spends all day interacting. I think she sees the ultimate benefit of a child who can overcome shyness and social pressure and make friends with anyone and anybody. She also teaches special ed, and works with many children who have underdeveloped social skills, and I agree with her that the true tragedy of some of these cases is their inability to connect with other kids and even their own parents. An outgoing person is someone who, despite the ups and downs of life, will never feel alone. Isn't that what we all want for our kids?
You never really know who your baby will bcome, as a person. I suppose the real challenge of parenting is being mature and wise enough to accept your kids, no matter who they turn out be be.
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