Tomorrow is a big day for us. We're going for a special ultrasound that serves as a screening for Down Syndrome. It's supposed to be a much higher resolution sonogram than the ones we've had previously, and most importantly-- we may have the opportunity to find out the gender!
This has been a huge milestone for us, one that I've really anxiously awaited from the moment we found out we were pregnant. Actually, come to think of it, I'm surprised I haven't talked about it much yet up to this point, because it's almost all I ever think about. Is it a boy or a girl in there? It comes down to what is essentially a flip of the coin that will forever change the course of our lives.
My way of processing this experience has largely been talking about it, here in the blog and with Allison, every day. But I've really been wanting to find an artistic outlet for my excitement, and I feel like without knowing the gender, I don't know what to do with myself. I want to paint a mural in the guest bedroom, but I don't know what paint colors to buy. I'd like to buy a toy maybe, or when I walk through Target and I pass by the baby clothes, I can't help but wonder if I'll be buying Batman or Cinderella t-shirts. I'm a huge planner, and so much of my planning hinges on whether we're having a boy or a girl. I feel like for the past month I've just been spinning my wheels until the moment when we finally find out. Hell, I don't even know which pronoun to use when I refer to the baby! I keep defaulting to "he" without meaning to (just like Allison keeps saying "she").
On that subject, I haven't really been able to decide if I have a preference about gender. I have absolutely no doubt that I will fall in love with the idea of a boy or girl the minute I find out, so it's not about disappointment. It's really more about the "fantasy" of the gender roles; do I imagine it will be a little boy who wants to play catch in the backyard, or a little girl who wants to play dress-up? Of course these are just stereotypes. I could very well have a boy who wants to ballroom dance, or a girl who wants to play golf. I don't much care about gender roles. But that said, it is hard not to daydream about how it will be to have a son or daughter, largely influenced (I'm sure) by images that have stuck in my head from movies and TV and all the other subtle influences I've grown up with.
Part of me feels like I favor having a boy, but I'm not sure why. I'm next exactly a man's man, I'm not really into sports and I've always felt that I relate a little better with women (my girl friends have always outnumbered the guys in my life). Part of this gender discussion has me realizing that I'm going to have to be open-minded and adapt to how this kid turns out to be. I grew up in the theater, and I may like to envision that my own son would be the same, but he might go the other way completely. That was how it was for my dad; he tried to encourage me to play every sport (and I certainly tried them all growing up) but in the end, my passion was art a performance, and once that became clear to all of us, my dad was always fully supportive. I can see how that may have been a disappointment to him, that he never had an son that was as in to athletics and sports as he was, but it has taught me a really valuable lesson about being parent. You really have to roll with the punches. When things take a turn you don't expect, or your child develops into someone you didn't anticipate, you have to learn to embrace his (or her) interests, even if they weren't what you wanted yourself.
Someone told me recently that "it's your first baby girl that really makes you feel like a father". I'm not sure why that would be the case more so than with a boy. Maybe it's a gender role thing again, that feeling of having a delicate little female person who needs you to protect them. It certainly sounds like a cliche when I put it down on paper, but I can imagine that there's an actual chemical, innate reaction involved with having a baby girl. Just like having a baby boy might make a man feel more like a patriarch, passing on his lineage a son like some sort of monarchy.
No matter what the gender is, I know in my heart that I will love this child with everything I have, no matter who they turn out to be. And tomorrow is the first day when that information might be available to me!
Even so, we're going to wait to find out, for at least a little longer. We plan to have a Reveal Brunch on the following Sunday after the ultrasound. Basically we'll have the doctor give us the baby's gender in a sealed envelope. Then we'll give it to a baker, who will bake a cake where the inside is either blue or pink. On the day of the party, when we cut into the cake, we'll finally find out the gender alongside our friends and loved ones. It's a nice way to ceremonialize this moment while still keeping things fun and informal.
So tomorrow is the day. Here goes nothing!
Costa out.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Day 44 - July 21
On Tuesday, Allison and I went to the doctor to have a sonogram.
Now keep in mind, I did not go to the initial doctor visit, so Allison had done one sonogram before. At that point, there was no real movement, very few observable features, and Allison basically described the baby as a peanut. Not to be cute, but that it actually looked like a tiny peanut. Go back and look a the picture from the previous entries and you'll agree.
What we saw this time was breathtaking.
At first, we saw what was clearly a little body shape, big round head, some shadows around the face area. It was obviously right from the start that the baby had nearly quadrupled in size since the last test, only 3 weeks before. The thing about a sonogram is that you're not really seeing in 3 dimensions. It's a high-contrast image of blacks and whites. Anything that's in the "foreground", or basically making contact with the surface of the uterus, shows up in white, and things that are further into the background seem to disappear into the black. The result is almost a low-relief image bunch of the baby with a lot of shadows, where a limb may appear not to even be connected to the baby if they're positioned with their elbow back.
The baby was looking right at us! Even with the surreal quality of the sonogram, we could see the fact clear as day, with two little arms, two little legs, and a big face with eyes facing straight ahead. Admittedly, it looked a lot like a Martian. Decide for yourself:
But the really amazing thing was to see it moving. We could see little legs kicking, little arms flapping. Elbows and knee joints moving independently. To see this little person, who started so abstract and now moving around of its own accord, it really took my breath away. We even caught a glimpse of a tiny hand with 5 nearly microscopic fingers. At one point, the baby turned and seemed to grab hold of the umbilical cord, our doctor pointed out to us. It was really a sight to behold.
I made the announcement at work on Thursday and my team was really supportive. I'm grateful to work in an office with people who really value and respect what an important and life-changing event this really is.
Next Friday, we're going for a different type of sonogram to test for down syndrome. Supposedly, the resolution on this test is going to be extremely high, compared to the tests we've had so far. Supposedly, we're going to see the baby in high definition and most importantly, we'll have the opportunity to discover the gender! We definitely do want to find out, but not that day. We have a whole plan; more on that later...
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Day 33 - July 10, 2012
We're in the 10th week now and the baby's the size of a prune, apparently. Allison and I are schedule to go back in for some kind of important test on the 17th, which is next Tuesday. She says it's not going to be the "big" one, where we do the sonogram and can potentially find out the gender. That one's schedule for July 27th, apparently. Still, I remain cautiously prepared, since the last time they kind of sidelined us with a sonogram that was supposed to only be a blood test!
We told all our friends on Saturday, so most people know about it at this point. We're not actively hiding it from anyone, we just kind of wanted to let word-of-mouth do its thing at this point. As for the announcement, about 8 of our close friends come with us to dinner at the Red Sky Restaurant, a new place my old high-school friend James opened up in Keyport. Allie and Will already knew from being told the previous week, but other than it came as a surprise to the rest of the group, consisting of Jon Moore, Natalie, Nees, Sara, and Sean Louis. My friend Nees inadvertently goaded me into making a toast, which seems to be my thing these days. I toasted the group, reminded everyone that the last time I made a toast I proposed to Allison, and then layed it on them.
Everyone was very excited for us. Telling friends is different from telling family, they have a different kind of emotional investment. With family, it's all about a new generation, a continued bloodline; parents becoming grandparents, siblings becoming aunts and uncles, etc. In almost like it's part of themselves. With friends, I feel there are different things playing into it. Some friends get nostalgic, thinking back to our younger days and realizing how far we've come. Some people take in the experience, putting it in perspective with their own life, their own relationships, their personal journey of "growing up". I imagine some friends think about how the change in our lives will change our relationship with them, for better or worse. It's a rich and emotionally diverse experience, sharing this part of my life with my friends. Getting to see so many close friends at once, and see their reactions to this great news, has made me even more appreciative that I've chosen such awesome people to be a part of my life.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Day 24 - July 1
On TheBump.com, they have a feature that allows you to track your baby's development, week-by-week. For example, in the 9th week your baby is as large as a green olive, approximately .9 inches long, and transitions from being an embryo to being a fetus. Reading this data, and seeing the preliminary sonogram image, is making this whole experience start to seem less abstract. That little concept that Allison is developing is starting to develop into an actual person in a very real way!
It's got me thinking a lot about the person he/she is going to be. It has nearly limitless potential to be anyone, do anything. And I don't think there's any way around the fact that at least part of the outcome is going to be baed on the decisions we make as parents, ie how badly we screw them up. Allison was given a book as a gift called How To Traumatize Your Child. It's a whimsical book but it makes a compelling point. Children end up being a product of their parenting (to whatever degree you are comfortable admitting). A strict parent who demands obedience may have no better luck than the overly lax parent who, hoping to avoid their own rigid upbringing, ends up being inconsistent and maybe even negligent. The best you can really do is try to "traumatize" your kid in a way that will benefit them in the long run. But it's a gray area, isn't it? And you won't really know how well your parenting style works in theory until they're all grown up anyway, so it's a bit of a gamble.
Parenting aside, your kid is going to have their own personality, tendencies, and characteristics which will play into it. I asked Allison this hypothetical the other day.
"If you could hand-pick a single quality that you could guarantee that your child will be inherently born with, what would it be?"
I clarified it could be physical, emotional, philosophical, whatever. Skipping past the obvious ones like healthy and "nice", we both thought about our answers.
My answer was that above all else, I want my child to be open-minded. A person who grows up with an open mind will be tolerant, respectful, patient, non-judgmental, and one would hope, loving. They would be willing to try new foods, brave enough to seek out new experiences, and welcoming to new friends and different kinds of people. This quality, I believe, will produce a well rounded person. That's what I want for my kid.
Allison's answer was that she wants them to be outgoing. Being a first grade teacher, she spends all day interacting. I think she sees the ultimate benefit of a child who can overcome shyness and social pressure and make friends with anyone and anybody. She also teaches special ed, and works with many children who have underdeveloped social skills, and I agree with her that the true tragedy of some of these cases is their inability to connect with other kids and even their own parents. An outgoing person is someone who, despite the ups and downs of life, will never feel alone. Isn't that what we all want for our kids?
You never really know who your baby will bcome, as a person. I suppose the real challenge of parenting is being mature and wise enough to accept your kids, no matter who they turn out be be.
Parenting aside, your kid is going to have their own personality, tendencies, and characteristics which will play into it. I asked Allison this hypothetical the other day.
"If you could hand-pick a single quality that you could guarantee that your child will be inherently born with, what would it be?"
I clarified it could be physical, emotional, philosophical, whatever. Skipping past the obvious ones like healthy and "nice", we both thought about our answers.
My answer was that above all else, I want my child to be open-minded. A person who grows up with an open mind will be tolerant, respectful, patient, non-judgmental, and one would hope, loving. They would be willing to try new foods, brave enough to seek out new experiences, and welcoming to new friends and different kinds of people. This quality, I believe, will produce a well rounded person. That's what I want for my kid.
Allison's answer was that she wants them to be outgoing. Being a first grade teacher, she spends all day interacting. I think she sees the ultimate benefit of a child who can overcome shyness and social pressure and make friends with anyone and anybody. She also teaches special ed, and works with many children who have underdeveloped social skills, and I agree with her that the true tragedy of some of these cases is their inability to connect with other kids and even their own parents. An outgoing person is someone who, despite the ups and downs of life, will never feel alone. Isn't that what we all want for our kids?
You never really know who your baby will bcome, as a person. I suppose the real challenge of parenting is being mature and wise enough to accept your kids, no matter who they turn out be be.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Day 20 - June 27
In a half hour it will be my birthday. Allison is asleep in bed next to me, wee were going to stay up until midnight for the first minute of my actual birthday, but she couldn't quite make it. Not surprising after the day we had.
Today Allison had her first official appointment with her gynecologist. I didn't go with her, though I wanted to, because the nurse assured us over the phone that it would be a fairly routine visit, just a simple blood test and a quick rundown of the pregnancy rules. She said we wouldn't even meet with the doctor until 2 weeks from now.
Well, I don't know where she came up with that version of the procedure, but as it turns out, it was a pretty big day for us. Luckily, Allison's mom went with Allison to her appointment. After the initial conversation, they determined that Allison is a bit further along than we thought, 8 weeks to be exact, so they encouraged her to do a sonogram today.
I was at work when Allison texted me to tell me how the plan had changed. I admit that at first, I was initially disappointed to have not been there for this moment. After all, the nurse has told us that basically today would just confirm that we were actually pregnant! I had no idea we'd be doing these tests today. Allison sent me the photo right away though and I got to see exactly what she did.
Behold, the first real moment of my child's little life:
Seeing this image brought tears to my eyes. Sure, it doesn't look like anything really. You can only kind of make out the shape of a little person on the left side of the black area. As it turns out, it doesn't sound like much either, according to Allison. It's still too early to hear the heartbeat, but there are visual cues to indicate that the baby is developing in perfect health. But either way, that's it-- that's my baby! I helped to make it. I know that every parent thinks their child is a miracle, but in this case, it truly is. Looking at that nearly shapeless gray blob, no larger than a raspberry (so I'm told), I'm filled with a feeling of pride and hope. In those few pixels lies the entire future and potential of a little person who will look to me to for guidance in a crazy, complicated world. And I can't wait.
This preliminary sonogram is going to be a precursor to the big one, which is scheduled for July 17. That's the one where we'll hear the heartbeat for the first time, and really begin to identify features and movement. But the big news is that the baby is really there, and it's healthy. It's confirmed that Allison is 8 weeks pregnant and that her estimated due date is February 7th.
So, now we wait. As of 4 minutes ago, it's my birthday. And I can't think of a single birthday gift that I might get that will mean more to me than the one Allison gave me today.
Today Allison had her first official appointment with her gynecologist. I didn't go with her, though I wanted to, because the nurse assured us over the phone that it would be a fairly routine visit, just a simple blood test and a quick rundown of the pregnancy rules. She said we wouldn't even meet with the doctor until 2 weeks from now.
Well, I don't know where she came up with that version of the procedure, but as it turns out, it was a pretty big day for us. Luckily, Allison's mom went with Allison to her appointment. After the initial conversation, they determined that Allison is a bit further along than we thought, 8 weeks to be exact, so they encouraged her to do a sonogram today.
I was at work when Allison texted me to tell me how the plan had changed. I admit that at first, I was initially disappointed to have not been there for this moment. After all, the nurse has told us that basically today would just confirm that we were actually pregnant! I had no idea we'd be doing these tests today. Allison sent me the photo right away though and I got to see exactly what she did.
Behold, the first real moment of my child's little life:
Seeing this image brought tears to my eyes. Sure, it doesn't look like anything really. You can only kind of make out the shape of a little person on the left side of the black area. As it turns out, it doesn't sound like much either, according to Allison. It's still too early to hear the heartbeat, but there are visual cues to indicate that the baby is developing in perfect health. But either way, that's it-- that's my baby! I helped to make it. I know that every parent thinks their child is a miracle, but in this case, it truly is. Looking at that nearly shapeless gray blob, no larger than a raspberry (so I'm told), I'm filled with a feeling of pride and hope. In those few pixels lies the entire future and potential of a little person who will look to me to for guidance in a crazy, complicated world. And I can't wait.
This preliminary sonogram is going to be a precursor to the big one, which is scheduled for July 17. That's the one where we'll hear the heartbeat for the first time, and really begin to identify features and movement. But the big news is that the baby is really there, and it's healthy. It's confirmed that Allison is 8 weeks pregnant and that her estimated due date is February 7th.
So, now we wait. As of 4 minutes ago, it's my birthday. And I can't think of a single birthday gift that I might get that will mean more to me than the one Allison gave me today.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Day 13 - June 20
I told my parents!
It sounded a lot less eloquent than I'm making it sound here. My dad joked about the dopey quality of my toast, and decided to just come out and say it. "Allison and I have some news. We're pregnant."
This is the second time I've done this now, and each time I notice the exact same phenomenon occur. I don't know if it's because of my health history, or because we're newlyweds, but every time we say the words "we have an announcement", the room always goes utterly silent. You can almost audibly hear everyone holding their breath. And then when the announcement does come, each time there has been an eerie 3-second silence to follow, as people process the words to decide if it's a joke or if they misheard. my parents and sisters all sat in silence for what felt like an hour, before all four of them responded, in unison, with the exact same response.
They burst into tears.
Happy tears, of course. We all cried a little and spent some time letting everything sink in, marveling at the fact that something we never really believed could happen was, all of a sudden, a beautiful reality.
Everyone's reaction was different. My dad never used to cry until a couple of years ago, but after my illness he crossed a threshold and could never go back. This night, he cried for a good 3 minutes before he was really able to begin talking about everything. As a father, there must be something really profound that happens inside you when your son has a son of his own. I think my dad was really shaken to the core at the thought that this would happen, after preparing himself for the idea that it probably would not. He quickly changed to almost manic excitement at the prospect of having a grandson to play with. He's been so freaking happy since we told him, that I can hardly describe it.
My mom and Jillian were also extremely emotional and excited to learn the news. Emily, especially, had a very sobering reaction to the news. She had some really thoughtful comments about how lucky we are and how much of a Godsend this baby is going to be for our family.
All in all, we had a really long, emotional, and joyful dinner together. Sharing a meal with my family and getting to absorb everyone's unique reactions to this baby really made me aware of just how lucky i am to have such a diverse and supportive family.
Over the next few days, we also shared the news with my Grandparents and my Godfather Vinnie and his wife Barbara. Similar conversations but special in their own way; initial shock, then elation, lots of emotions, a lot of thanking Jesus, more excitement, and finally cautious optimism. At this point my greatest concern is that I'll be lucky if I even have a chance to raise this baby, between all our family members it seems like we've got about 10 surrogate parents lined up to do it for me!
After a week of schedule and rescheduling, and a bit of anxiety on my part, we finally got together on Thursday at my parents' house. We were going to do some grilling in the backyard, marinated chicken, ribs, and a pasta/spaghetti squash concoction that only my mom can make. Again, finding the right moment to share the news was going to be a challenge, because whenever the words were spoken, we knew the meal would basically come to a screeching halt.
Going into the evening, I told Allison my parents were probably already slightly suspicious about how persistent I'd been about having the family dinner. Knowing how smart and insightful my mom and sisters are, I had a plan to throw them off the scent. "When we get there, I'm going to pour us both a glass of wine," I told Allison. "Just hold it. No one will notice you're not sipping from it, but they'll notice if you don't have it."
The plan worked perfectly. Nobody noticed a thing for the hour before we ate. We sat on the back patio while my mom grilled and caught up on each other's lives (leaving out one small detail, until the right moment, of course).
My sister Jill and Emily were both able to be there, which I was very happy about. When Ally first told me about the pregnancy, one of the first things I told her was "Out of everybody, Jill is going to be the most excited about this." Jill, who's only 13, has been asking me constantly when we're going to have a baby, since we got married over a year ago. I guess she just likes the idea of not being the youngest anymore!
We sat down to eat, and I offered to make a toast. I narvously, awkwardly started...
"I just wanted to thank everybody for making the time to get together tonight as a family. I know it's not always easy to find the time, but I'm really happy that we managed it and that we're all here right now."
Th
It sounded a lot less eloquent than I'm making it sound here. My dad joked about the dopey quality of my toast, and decided to just come out and say it. "Allison and I have some news. We're pregnant."
This is the second time I've done this now, and each time I notice the exact same phenomenon occur. I don't know if it's because of my health history, or because we're newlyweds, but every time we say the words "we have an announcement", the room always goes utterly silent. You can almost audibly hear everyone holding their breath. And then when the announcement does come, each time there has been an eerie 3-second silence to follow, as people process the words to decide if it's a joke or if they misheard. my parents and sisters all sat in silence for what felt like an hour, before all four of them responded, in unison, with the exact same response.
They burst into tears.
Happy tears, of course. We all cried a little and spent some time letting everything sink in, marveling at the fact that something we never really believed could happen was, all of a sudden, a beautiful reality.
Everyone's reaction was different. My dad never used to cry until a couple of years ago, but after my illness he crossed a threshold and could never go back. This night, he cried for a good 3 minutes before he was really able to begin talking about everything. As a father, there must be something really profound that happens inside you when your son has a son of his own. I think my dad was really shaken to the core at the thought that this would happen, after preparing himself for the idea that it probably would not. He quickly changed to almost manic excitement at the prospect of having a grandson to play with. He's been so freaking happy since we told him, that I can hardly describe it.
My mom and Jillian were also extremely emotional and excited to learn the news. Emily, especially, had a very sobering reaction to the news. She had some really thoughtful comments about how lucky we are and how much of a Godsend this baby is going to be for our family.
All in all, we had a really long, emotional, and joyful dinner together. Sharing a meal with my family and getting to absorb everyone's unique reactions to this baby really made me aware of just how lucky i am to have such a diverse and supportive family.
Over the next few days, we also shared the news with my Grandparents and my Godfather Vinnie and his wife Barbara. Similar conversations but special in their own way; initial shock, then elation, lots of emotions, a lot of thanking Jesus, more excitement, and finally cautious optimism. At this point my greatest concern is that I'll be lucky if I even have a chance to raise this baby, between all our family members it seems like we've got about 10 surrogate parents lined up to do it for me!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Day 5 - June 12
It's been about 5 days and we've got an appointment to see the OBGYNon June 26th, the day before my birthday. Quite a birthday present, am I right? Allison and I are so filled with nervous energy and excitement, we hardly know what to do with this time to keep ourselves busy. We've been doing a lot of research. I have to admit, I really don't know anything about pregnancy, so this is new territory for me. I'm really interested to find out as much as I can, to prepare myself for the months to come.
Allison has been 5 steps ahead of me on this. She's like a sponge absorbing every drop of information she can: what vitamins to take, what food she can and can't eat, how many weeks before she might start to feel sick, what the safest options are for getting a manicure. For instance, after 4-5 weeks of pregnancy, the baby is about the size of a poppy seed. Or how about the fact that there is a pressure point between the ankle and heel that can induce contractions, if mishandled by an inexperienced pedicurist.
There are so many rules, I'm learning. Everyone knows alcohol and sushi is out. But I had no idea that cold cuts are also on the list of things not to eat (something with bacteria). That makes getting enough protein challenging. Fish is good but not in excess, because too much mercury can be bad for the baby. Exercise is important but should ideally be low impact, yet you can bike into your thirds trimester. the only medicine that you can take is Tylenol, Robitussin, and TUMS.
There are so many things you have to keep in mind, I don't understand how pregnant women get through the day without having a nervous breakdown, never mind their husbands!
But I can't help but wonder, how much of this stuff is really essential? Do European women worry this much about having a glass of wine? Are cold cuts really such a high risk? Is it really possible to go into labor from a foot rub?? I just keep thinking that for thousands of years, human beings have been able to reproduce successfully, haven't we? I doubt the ancient Egyptians took prenatal vitamins, and they still managed to bud a pyramids. Granted, they did force other people to do it, bad example... but my point remains the same.
I'm all for being knowledgable and cautious. But I honestly believe that there's something important about being exposed to things like dirt, and bacteria, and viruses, and allergens. Every kid is allergic to everything nowadays. I can't help but wonder if peanut allergies happen because some poor mother was so scared about what she should eat, that she never exposed her unborn child to a peanut until they turned 5 years old. I'm pretty sure there have been studies that have shown that using Purell too often during pregnancy is harmful, because you end up preparing the baby for a world that's more sterile than it really is. What happens when they are born and they first come in contact with a germ, if their body has never even encountered one before?
I don't pretend to have all the answers, I'm really just asking these questions to
Myself for the first time. I've got a lot to learn, and you never have any guarantee that the choices you make will have any effect on the outcome. I guess all you can do is learn as much as you can, and just cross your fingers and leave it up to the powers that be. And, I suppose, try not to go crazy in the process!
Allison has been 5 steps ahead of me on this. She's like a sponge absorbing every drop of information she can: what vitamins to take, what food she can and can't eat, how many weeks before she might start to feel sick, what the safest options are for getting a manicure. For instance, after 4-5 weeks of pregnancy, the baby is about the size of a poppy seed. Or how about the fact that there is a pressure point between the ankle and heel that can induce contractions, if mishandled by an inexperienced pedicurist.
There are so many rules, I'm learning. Everyone knows alcohol and sushi is out. But I had no idea that cold cuts are also on the list of things not to eat (something with bacteria). That makes getting enough protein challenging. Fish is good but not in excess, because too much mercury can be bad for the baby. Exercise is important but should ideally be low impact, yet you can bike into your thirds trimester. the only medicine that you can take is Tylenol, Robitussin, and TUMS.
There are so many things you have to keep in mind, I don't understand how pregnant women get through the day without having a nervous breakdown, never mind their husbands!
But I can't help but wonder, how much of this stuff is really essential? Do European women worry this much about having a glass of wine? Are cold cuts really such a high risk? Is it really possible to go into labor from a foot rub?? I just keep thinking that for thousands of years, human beings have been able to reproduce successfully, haven't we? I doubt the ancient Egyptians took prenatal vitamins, and they still managed to bud a pyramids. Granted, they did force other people to do it, bad example... but my point remains the same.
I'm all for being knowledgable and cautious. But I honestly believe that there's something important about being exposed to things like dirt, and bacteria, and viruses, and allergens. Every kid is allergic to everything nowadays. I can't help but wonder if peanut allergies happen because some poor mother was so scared about what she should eat, that she never exposed her unborn child to a peanut until they turned 5 years old. I'm pretty sure there have been studies that have shown that using Purell too often during pregnancy is harmful, because you end up preparing the baby for a world that's more sterile than it really is. What happens when they are born and they first come in contact with a germ, if their body has never even encountered one before?
I don't pretend to have all the answers, I'm really just asking these questions to
Myself for the first time. I've got a lot to learn, and you never have any guarantee that the choices you make will have any effect on the outcome. I guess all you can do is learn as much as you can, and just cross your fingers and leave it up to the powers that be. And, I suppose, try not to go crazy in the process!
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