After a week of schedule and rescheduling, and a bit of anxiety on my part, we finally got together on Thursday at my parents' house. We were going to do some grilling in the backyard, marinated chicken, ribs, and a pasta/spaghetti squash concoction that only my mom can make. Again, finding the right moment to share the news was going to be a challenge, because whenever the words were spoken, we knew the meal would basically come to a screeching halt.
Going into the evening, I told Allison my parents were probably already slightly suspicious about how persistent I'd been about having the family dinner. Knowing how smart and insightful my mom and sisters are, I had a plan to throw them off the scent. "When we get there, I'm going to pour us both a glass of wine," I told Allison. "Just hold it. No one will notice you're not sipping from it, but they'll notice if you don't have it."
The plan worked perfectly. Nobody noticed a thing for the hour before we ate. We sat on the back patio while my mom grilled and caught up on each other's lives (leaving out one small detail, until the right moment, of course).
My sister Jill and Emily were both able to be there, which I was very happy about. When Ally first told me about the pregnancy, one of the first things I told her was "Out of everybody, Jill is going to be the most excited about this." Jill, who's only 13, has been asking me constantly when we're going to have a baby, since we got married over a year ago. I guess she just likes the idea of not being the youngest anymore!
We sat down to eat, and I offered to make a toast. I narvously, awkwardly started...
"I just wanted to thank everybody for making the time to get together tonight as a family. I know it's not always easy to find the time, but I'm really happy that we managed it and that we're all here right now."
Th
It sounded a lot less eloquent than I'm making it sound here. My dad joked about the dopey quality of my toast, and decided to just come out and say it. "Allison and I have some news. We're pregnant."
This is the second time I've done this now, and each time I notice the exact same phenomenon occur. I don't know if it's because of my health history, or because we're newlyweds, but every time we say the words "we have an announcement", the room always goes utterly silent. You can almost audibly hear everyone holding their breath. And then when the announcement does come, each time there has been an eerie 3-second silence to follow, as people process the words to decide if it's a joke or if they misheard. my parents and sisters all sat in silence for what felt like an hour, before all four of them responded, in unison, with the exact same response.
They burst into tears.
Happy tears, of course. We all cried a little and spent some time letting everything sink in, marveling at the fact that something we never really believed could happen was, all of a sudden, a beautiful reality.
Everyone's reaction was different. My dad never used to cry until a couple of years ago, but after my illness he crossed a threshold and could never go back. This night, he cried for a good 3 minutes before he was really able to begin talking about everything. As a father, there must be something really profound that happens inside you when your son has a son of his own. I think my dad was really shaken to the core at the thought that this would happen, after preparing himself for the idea that it probably would not. He quickly changed to almost manic excitement at the prospect of having a grandson to play with. He's been so freaking happy since we told him, that I can hardly describe it.
My mom and Jillian were also extremely emotional and excited to learn the news. Emily, especially, had a very sobering reaction to the news. She had some really thoughtful comments about how lucky we are and how much of a Godsend this baby is going to be for our family.
All in all, we had a really long, emotional, and joyful dinner together. Sharing a meal with my family and getting to absorb everyone's unique reactions to this baby really made me aware of just how lucky i am to have such a diverse and supportive family.
Over the next few days, we also shared the news with my Grandparents and my Godfather Vinnie and his wife Barbara. Similar conversations but special in their own way; initial shock, then elation, lots of emotions, a lot of thanking Jesus, more excitement, and finally cautious optimism. At this point my greatest concern is that I'll be lucky if I even have a chance to raise this baby, between all our family members it seems like we've got about 10 surrogate parents lined up to do it for me!
No comments:
Post a Comment